Red Bull Formula 1 Team Bought by Cyprus, Rebranded to “Team Zivania Racing™” — Max Verstappen Fired and Replaced by a Man Named Yiannis from Paphos

In an unexpected twist, Cyprus has purchased the Red Bull Formula 1 team, immediately rebranding it as Team Zivania Racing™ and firing Max Verstappen in favor of Yiannis, a 64-year-old from Paphos with no helmet and deep opinions on tyre pressure and hawks. The team’s new motto — “We drink and we corner” — sets the tone for a season fueled by moonshine, mechanical improvisation, and intense village energy.