Alphamega Announces Plans to Colonize Moon, Install Luxury Supermarket with 3 Aisles of Imported Cheeses and 1 Parking Spot

In a galactic leap for Cypriot retail, Alphamega announces its plan to open the first supermarket on the Moon, complete with a floating cheese aisle, oxygen-based loyalty points, and premium crater parking. Because if anyone can overprice halloumi in space — it’s Alphamega.