Red Bull Formula 1 Team Bought by Cyprus, Rebranded to “Team Zivania Racing™” — Max Verstappen Fired and Replaced by a Man Named Yiannis from Paphos
In an unexpected twist, Cyprus has purchased the Red Bull Formula 1 team, immediately rebranding it as Team Zivania Racing™ and firing Max Verstappen in favor of Yiannis, a 64-year-old from Paphos with no helmet and deep opinions on tyre pressure and hawks. The team’s new motto — “We drink and we corner” — sets the tone for a season fueled by moonshine, mechanical improvisation, and intense village energy.
Cypriot Football Federation Accidentally Declares Every Match a Derby, Chaos Ensues as Fans Storm Random Bakeries
Chaos erupts across Cyprus after the football federation mistakenly labels every single league match as a derby. Now, even mid-table clashes are treated like ancient blood feuds, mascots are brawling in parking lots, and one man has been banned from a bakery for wearing the wrong jersey.