Orthodox Church Launches “Project Divine Comeback” to Win Back Churchgoers: Incense Cannons, Holy Water Splash Zones, and Confession Drive-Thrus

Faced with empty pews and a generation more devoted to frappé than faith, the Orthodox Church has launched “Project Divine Comeback” — an outrageous initiative featuring incense cannons, rotating altars, confession drive-thrus, and TikTok hymn challenges. Church has never been so loud, so fragrant, or so deeply confused.